I had off work today because of a health problem I had yesterday (Sunday). I stayed home the whole day, laying around and healing, but also thinking about what happened and what I’m going to do. I don’t think I can get by without professional help any longer. Really, I probably should’ve gotten it long ago. I’ve let a number of things sit for a long time, and I think some of them may have grown and grouped together to cause a bigger problem. I’ve had many reasons I didn’t:

  • fear, of hospitals, doctors, shots, medicine, surgery, cuts, people, everything involved
  • potentially super high cost
  • inability to know if I’m getting good costs
  • lack of outcome in the past
  • lack of a clear path to start
  • lack of a clear path to good doctors, locations, medicine, decisions, outcomes

and plenty of others. But at some point, health can and likely will overpower everything else, bring restrictions to what life can be, or even end it. Some restrictions cannot be removed completely, but many can be limited. I owe it to myself, my life, and my friends to push through the difficulties and unknowns, and at least try to improve things. Health incidences can make the overarching path much more apparent.