Personal posts page 59

Unemployed

in

This is a little late perhaps, but I am now unemployed. My internship at RPM had been done for school purposes at the end of spring semester, but I had continued on to train the next intern. I of course had quit out at the Lizard around the end of spring as well. I finished at RPM at the end of August there, and have since been without a job.

I haven’t really been looking that hard for a new one. I have little motivation to at the moment, and am working on doing some things around the house and some other personal issues for the moment. I also want to get together a good portfolio before I really start looking.

Ronda Leffel, who is the new director of the eBusiness program I am in at Tri-C, has been and will continue to look for jobs for me. There is the possibility of a job at Sherwin Williams, who is headquartered in Cleveland and recently partnered with the school. The program is touted as having a 100% placement rate for students. Though I do know one who never got placed, I am fairly confident that I’ll get something at some point.

I luckily have a fair amount of savings from my years of working at the Lizard combined with thrifty spending and careful saving. I should be fine for about six months. I’m not sure if I really want to eat all of my savings that isn’t in stocks or cds, but I may risk it. If I get worried about available funds, I’m sure I could quickly find a job at a restaurant again.

Dwight moved out

in

After a year and a half of living with me, my roommate Dwight finally moved out. His girlfriend got a “real” job in Texas, so he moved down there with her. His stay here was supposed to be temporary, but he liked the low living expenses so much he decided to stay.

This has been quite a change for me. The change in my cost of living is quite significant: My basic expenses will increase by an estimated 34%, not a small number. This is at a time when I’m about to lose my job. I have money saved, and could easily get a job at a restaurant in no time I’m sure, but it still could be rough, especially on some of my planned extra type expenditures.

Living alone is quite different from living with someone. There was someone there most of the time to do stuff with before, but now I have to put effort into finding someone to do stuff with, especially since I no longer have any real friends (he was the only one that I actually did stuff with excluding family). He had a good collection of movies and frequently rented some, so we often watched them. We also played card and other games. It was nice to have an additional person to help with some stuff: It meant I didn’t have to always be there to look for and deal with everything. It can be very lonely sitting at home alone.

Of course, it can be nice as well. I can have lots of alone time without worrying about someone popping in. Dwight could be quite the talker and sometimes would talk for hours, sometimes about things I wasn’t especially interested in. The dishes were a shared duty and they ended up being quite a mess as well as a lot of work. My house is much cleaner now and I plan to keep it that way.

On the cleaner note, I have moved some of the stuff from my front room into his old bedroom. The front room had been piled with stuff and virtually unusable, but now it is rather clean. It will be an entertainment room (video, board, and card games, chairs to chat, etc). His old room is rather clean still as well, and may become an office. I hope to get rid of a lot of stuff and make the house cleaner still.

We’ll see how this works out.

Oil change trouble

in

After running through a few tanks to see the pre-change MPG of my Saturn, I changed the oil to a synthetic high MPG formulation. I had used the same oil in my Corolla and had noticed a definite increase, and wanted to verify that this increase was indeed happening. I haven’t verified the increase yet.

Unfortunately, the oil change itself was the worst I’ve ever done. It probably took me at least three hours. I had to clean some oil spilled from my leaky oil catcher pan. The biggest time consumer, though, was the filter: It was on there ridiculously tight and the Saturn has almost no space around it. I ended up stabbing it in numerous places with a screwdriver, hurting my hand, and getting soaked in oil. A filter wrench finally did it.

Continue reading post "Oil change trouble"

My new car

in

After my car died, I went looking for a car. I had to borrow my roommate’s car many times and my dad’s car while he was on vacation. I even rode my bicycle 20+ miles to work one day, though my roommate picked me up for the trip home. It took me over a month to make my decision.

Search

I had wanted to get a small stickshift hatchback a little smaller than my Corolla that would be able to get a little better gas mileage. Unfortunately, it was hard to find a model within my price range that actually fit my requirements. I spent a lot of time looking at craigslist, cars.com, autotrader.com, and others.

I called and emailed a number of private sellers, but never ended up going to see one. They seem harder to deal with, as you have to set up a time to meet and all, and then can’t take the car unless the title place is opened or they’ve already got their title notarized. I also visited a great many lots and test drove a number of cars.

Continue reading post "My new car"

My corolla finally died

in

Due to its rust and general shape, my Corolla has looked liked it was on its way out since I bought it from my brother. Five years later, it finally went out. It could perhaps have been fixed, but I didn’t think it was worth it.

The death

On my last day of school for the Spring semester, on the way home from class (in the campus parking lot in fact), I ran over a curb (I was tired). I drove all the way home with no problems. Later that day I headed toward my parents’ house, but soon after I made a turn (Akron Cleveland onto 303) my car started sliding on the front right tire. Due to a warning that the tie-rod ends were in bad shape, I was expecting something would happen. I slid over to the side of the road (digging a deep tire mark and gathering some asphalt on my tire).

I discovered my tire at quite an angle, and found the driveshaft to be disconnected from the transmission. I called my Dad, and he headed over to take a look. I called the tow truck right after that. A cop showed up and asked me about what happened. He attempted to help me push the car over fully off the road, but it didn’t move, even when he used his car. So he decided to park behind me with his flashers so no one would hit me. My dad showed up and took a look, and determined that it probably wasn’t salvageable.

After a lot of waiting, the tow truck guy finally showed up. He drove me and my car back home. He said a lot of cars had had an axle problem that week. We dropped my car off in front of my house, where it stayed for over a month (until after I got my new car). Parking was a little difficult with it there.

The problem

I jacked it up and looked closely underneath it after several weeks. I finally determined what had happened. The frame had cracked where one of the arms connects that holds the wheel in place. The wheel twisted out a bit without its support, pulling the axle out of the transmission. The support could have been welded, but the frame was pretty rusted at that point, and a new frame piece almost would have been needed. The whole car was too rusted anyway, and I had been planning to get a new car after my issues in the winter. That car had a lot of issues in its time, though I suppose they weren’t so bad to deal with (the most difficult problems were probably the numerous busted brake lines).

Gone

She sold for $75 to a tow truck company, with extra door trim bits and haynes and chiltons guides included. She has been replaced by my new car.

A real hair cut

in

After at least three years of letting my hair grow out, I’ve cut it. It was down to my shoulders, but now it’s probably three inches at its longest point, much shorter on the back and sides. I wanted it to be a little longer than it is, and will have to let it grow out to get where I want it.

I started by cutting it myself, and got it just about to where I wanted it in general appearance. Unfortunately it was a bit uneven. After much effort, my roommate convinced me to get it cut professionally the rest of the way. $13 for just the last bit of a haircut. Oh well, it certainly got cleaned up. The girl there quickly recognized it as a home cut, and did her best to preserve the look I was going for. Unfortunately, she cut a bit much off in the back and on the sides, especially around the ears.

It’s sometimes strange having the short hair, but sometimes I don’t even notice it. When I put on a hat or lean back in a chair, I often attempt to take into account my pony tail, but it’s not there. Unfortunately, without the pony tail, my bangs now frequently end up in my eyes. My hair is quite unruly and won’t stay combed back. It poofs up, especially at the top back, very easily. I’m going to need to find a solution for the eye issue, perhaps I’ll be forced to use some gel or something on occasion. At least my hair doesn’t get caught in things, blow in my face with the wind, or end up in my mouth when I’m eating.

My beard and my hair change

in

I’ve done something I once vowed never to do: I shaved my beard. I had intended to keep my beard uncut for life. This was made all the easier by the fact that it never grew particularly long. I wanted to have the softness of a never cut beard and the low maintenance. My mustache has shown that the sometimes disputed notion about shaving making hair grow faster and thicker is true, at least for me, especially the faster part. I don’t want to need to shave my beard as well all the time.

But all of this has seemed to matter less and less along with so many other things as I age. It’s harder to care. I’ve been told by some, especially my roommate Dwight, that my unkempt appearance might contribute to my loneliness. Though I’ve been more kempt in the past with similar results, I feel the simple but always present change may help to bring about change elsewhere in my life.

I’ve also cut my hair (slightly) for the first time in years. Several years ago I gave myself a mohawk (a faux-hawk really). After that, I’ve let it grow out long. I never was able to have long hair as a child, and I wanted to try it out. I’ve liked it to some extent. I sometimes feel it looks fairly good that way, though other times I feel it looks too unkempt and poofy. It perhaps illustrates visually to some extent my internal state. Without it I am somewhat visually bland.

Of course, it can be a pain as well. It always gets stuck in things, such as my car window upon closing or between my back and my seat back. In the wind it never ceases to get in my eyes. And in spite of the lack of cutting as well as my infrequent combings, it requires more maintenance.

Anyway, I cut a few inches off to make it a little less unkempt looking and less likely to get caught in things. I did the ponytail cut, where I put my hair in a ponytail and then cut the end off. It has created a somewhat inverted curve shape, with the outsides longer than the middle. I’m not sure If I’ll try to straighten this or not: It works well for the ponytail, which is pretty much the only way I wear it.

Shyness & Love

in

I’ve found somewhat of a renewed hope in my life, at a time when things were seeming especially dismal. By chance, while looking through books at the library after a class, I found a book that seems to, in its opening, describe my most pressing affliction to a T. The book, titled Shyness & Love, describes a group of males who go through their lives strongly desiring emotional and sexual contact but unable to attain even a small bit of it due to an oppressively powerful shyness. Not only do these males fail to garner the spouse and kids so commonly considered a wonderful part of life, but their lack of social skills affects them negatively in the workplace and in their entire life in general. Happiness seems unattainable to them, and by the time they reach middle age, they’ve lost virtually all hope and have become very pessimistic and angry in general.

This dismal road seems to be the one I walk down at the moment. I don’t like the prospects. This book gives me hope that I might be able to escape. That my most dire problem has both been studied and has possibly a sizable population (the author estimates a little over 1% of Usonians) sharing in it gives me promise and makes me feel so much less alone. I intend to read as much of it as I can in the next few weeks, even as my schoolwork has been taking a large portion of my time.

Unfortunately, descriptors of love shyness on wikipedia suggest that I show many more differences from the affliction than the intro of the book suggested. Unlike the men in the book, I didn’t have abusive parents, though perhaps emotionally distant, and I like Rock and Roll music. In addition, reviews on amazon suggest that the book has its problems, including some lack of credibility and, fairly importantly, a general lack of real, usable solutions. The book is out of print, and the author and others have not seemed to have expanded upon the concept since the book was written in 1987.

None-the-less, I hope the reading will help me understand myself and my problem better, making me better equipped to handle the problem. I feel more confident that useful information and help might be out there somewhere. I will make in effort to use my brain to escape my trouble, to get past the pain and anxiety provided by social situations so that I might enter into the world in which everyone else lives, finally. Happiness may be achievable.

my first sailing race

in

I went on my first sailing race today. It was with Jim, two of his friends, Paul, and his friend Jen. I had met Jim and his two friends on the 4th of July while I was up there for a family gathering and fireworks. Jim owns a boat down towards the end of the dock and races every Wednesday. Paul has raced with him numerous times now and even joined him on a multi-day cruise out to the islands.

I was worried that we’d be late, but arrived well before Jim’s two friends. We were in fact heading to the race without them, when we saw them walking down the dock. We turned around and went up to an empty dock to pick them up, then headed out late for the race.

The winds near the start of the race were very low and we were moving quite slowly while also drifting to the side quite a bit. Though we didn’t look that far behind the other boats and even came pretty close to some, we didn’t cross the start line till 22 minutes after the start of the race. We continued moving very slowly for quite some time, and eventually found ourselves way behind.

I really had little idea of what was going on. I kinda figured out by observation. There was a motorboat at the starting point. We had to go on one side of a marker near the start, then head to a marker which we couldn’t see but had the lat long coordinates of. The GPS guided us there. We had to go around the marker on one side, then head back in to port around one side of the break wall and finish by passing a buoy.

Though close to some boats near the beginning, a few tacks put us well behind. Boats started heading back towards us, downwind, some with spinnakers, well before we were near the turnaround marker. We got pretty close to a couple of those boats as we passed and were unsure whether we’d have to turn. I’m amazed how close those boats can get and how easily they maneuver to avoid each other.

We started on the low side to force some heel to speed us up, but the winds eventually picked up and we were able to go much faster and heel a good bit with us on the high side. Still, the other boats were quite far away when we finally made it around the marker. It was getting dark quick. The last other boat rounded the break wall while we were still quite a ways away. We called in by radio, but the motor boat had gone in, told us just to call in our time when we finally passed the finish line.

The whole time I did very little to help. I sat more toward the front, as there was little room in the back. When tacking and jibing, I mostly just slid underneath the boom and later the jib, letting others do the work. I was unsure of how to help, but hopefully my observations of how things are done will help in the future.

It was quite dark well before we passed the finish line. We decided to forego the call in. We were at least 40 minutes after everybody else, probably a good bit more.

We enjoyed some appetizers in the marina restaurant afterward.

Another mouse

in

There was another mouse in my house, removed yesterday.

Over the summer I had occasionally heard some mouse-like noises, especially more recently. But I didn’t see any signs, such as mouse poop and chewed up food. On Monday I saw very sure signs, starting with the same scurrying past my bedroom door tiny brown furry thing that had alerted me to the presence of a mouse in the past. I didn’t want to alert Dwight, as I wasn’t sure how he’d take it or what he’d want to do about it. But as I was trying to sleep that night, the mouse kept chewing on something. I couldn’t sleep, so I repeatedly went into the kitchen searching for him. I pulled off some wall/cupboard material in my search. He finally stopped chewing after awhile, at least long enough for me to fall asleep, but I did set up one of my live traps from before.

He wasn’t there in the morning when I awoke. There were no signs of him. When I came home from work though, i heard a scratching/gnawing similar to the sound from the previous night. He was not chewing on my house though, but on the trap. I had him captured. When Dwight came home I showed him. He was not especially, though slightly, scared of the dirty little thing.

I drove him to the park. I tried to take some photos with my new macro lens, but was unable to get anything good. He disappeared quickly.
</toby>